Any relationship is a two-way street. A breakup can be caused by only one extreme incident, or by a number of things that just cause two people to not work out. Either way, if there are good solid common grounds that put you together in the beginning, chances are you can work through those difficult issues that caused the break up. Of course, none of this can be done without effort, so make sure saving the relationship is worth it to you.
To begin with, if during your relationship you gave her flowers every time you did something wrong, then the use flowers in your attempt to get her back may not be your best choice. We are on to that game, and after a while flowers lose credibility and become meaningless because they have always been related to something bad. However, if that is not the case, we do appreciate the thoughtfulness of the gesture. You may also consider sending a nice card with your own handwritten note inside. Actually writing something down from the heart, shows you care enough to take time to let her know how you feel. If the breakup was caused by something you did, it is a nice way to apologize and soften her angry emotions.
This first stage is crucial, so avoid the "knee jerk" reactions that can cause more damage:
- Don't isolate yourself and drown is self-pity
- Avoid saying bad things about your ex
- Do not get in a blame war - be proactive
You need to be STRONG. Close the door to communication for a while and give each other a chance to cool off and think things through. This is a very difficult thing to do, especially when you are wondering what she is doing and who she is doing it with. But, calling or sending text messages constantly or even stopping by to talk, can cause more damage to your already fragile situation. If this was an angry breakup, people need to take time to put things into perspective by thinking about the relationship and why you were together to begin with.
Get out and about! Don't sit at home by yourself and dwell on the situation, it will only depress you. Even if you don't want to, create a social network and enjoy some entertainment with friends or family. This is a great step in regaining your self-esteem and independence. By doing this, your ex will also find out you are not sitting at home pining away, feeling sorry for yourself. It may also make her start wondering what she gave up.
You can then start looking for the signs that your ex wants you back:
- She may call and ask your advice on a situation
- She may change her appearance to be more noticeable to you
- Maybe she has called more than once to see how you are doing
- You find out she is asking friends about you
In the event these things are happening, it may be time to invite her out for a cup of coffee, just to talk. Keep it simple. Don't argue about the breakup, talk about the good times, remember when. At this point, opening the lines of communication can put you back on the road to repairing your relationship. The truth is, 90% of breakups can get back together again. It takes time and patience. Reminding each other why you got together to begin with is a good start.
No comments:
Post a Comment