How Do You Recognize Mr Right?

Many of us have been socialized to believe that there is a Mr. Right out there. A man who would be just right for us and with whom we would fit together like 2 pieces from a puzzle but would you really recognize Mr. Right if he walked in through the door right now? Beyond the emotional connection or jolt that you expect to feel instantaneously... do you have a way of recognizing Mr. Right? Or has Mr. Right walked right past you because the emotional connection did not kick in instantaneously and you had no other way of identifying him? How can you be better equipped to identify Mr. Right?

1. What should he look like? Do you know what your Mr. Right should look like? Should your Mr. Right be tall or short or of medium height... or don't you care about height? Do you care if he is a little overweight or should he be skinny or of average build? Should he wear his hair long or short? Would a bald man ring your emotional bell? What about tattoos and piercings... what is acceptable to you? Take a note pad and write down all that you expect Mr. Right to look like from head to toe. As you write, it will become clear to you what your heart desires him to look like. If you just think without writing then you will only have a vague impression of what you expect him to look like and so you will not be sure if it's him... when he does finally show up in your life. What physical attributes are non-negotiable with you? What must he have in order for him to be Mr. Right for you?

2. What should he be doing with his life? This is a biggy with many women who want a man who can at least carry his monetary weight in the relationship or who can conversely take care of you and the family that you expect to have. Some women are only able to love and respect men who dominate their field of expertise while others don't care too much about what he does as long as he is gainfully employed. What about in his free time... must he be involved in charity work or in sports or in other activities beyond the office? What should your Mr. Right be doing in his career as well as in his free time? Again it is important that you write this down as it will help you focus on what it is that you need and cannot live without in your man.

3. How should he make you feel? Yes, many of us imagine that we want him to make our knees weak and our stomachs queasy... but is that really realistic? What kinds of things must he do in order to be your Mr. Right? How can you begin to prepare yourself so that you can quickly teach him how you want to be treated? The romance novels were wrong... Mr. Right does not instinctively know how to treat you like a queen. You must teach him by your actions and your words but before you do that you must define for yourself what it is that you want him to do.

4. What should his lifestyle be like? We all have some 'must haves 'in the people that we want around us. Does Mr. Right have to be physically active or can you tolerate a dormant couch potato? Do you mind if he takes the occasional drink or gets regularly drunk or must he be a teetotaler? Should faith in God be an integral part of his life or should he just have decent morals? Search your heart and write down exactly what Mr. Right should and should not be involved in.

If you are now clear on what your Mr. Right must be then you will be able to identify him when he comes into your life. Sometimes Mr. Right maybe sitting right next to you but you are blinded by your vague perceptions of what it is that you really want. Having done your list in the 4 key areas... is Mr. Right already in your life and you didn't know it?

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Getting His Attention - How to Make a Man Fancy You

If your really into him getting his attention is key if you want him to take notice of you. There are subtle things you can do without looking desperate that will arouse his curiosity and make him want to get to know you better. There are certain thing you can do that will get the ball rolling and start you down the path to a new and exciting relationship. What happens after that is anybodys guess but by putting into practice these simple techniques more often than not guys will take notice of you.

Making eye contact is one of the easiest things you can do when you want a guy to notice you. Studies have shown that making eye contact with a guy is a great way to show you may be interested in him. Even if you consider yourself to be the shy type it takes only a fraction of a second to glance his way. Throw a smile in for good measure. Try it the next time you want to get the attention a certain guy but don't be surprised when he walks over and introduces himself.

Sometimes you will have to make the first move with a guy. This can include walking up to him and starting a conversation. Some men are clueless and it's tempting to give up before you've even given him a chance. Making small talk for some women can seem intimidating. Keep it simple and you should not have any problems. Compliment him on his shirt. Mention something about what is going on around you. If all else fails say something about the weather. Usually the guy will respond and then you can take it from there. It's best not to act flirtatious but be confident and smile when approaching him. Remember if he is the least bit interested in you what you talk about won't be as important as the fact that you are having a conversation with him.

How you dress can get a guys attention for sure. But be careful because the message you send out with what you choose to wear may not be what you are trying to convey. Many women think that the sexier they dress the more they will get noticed. And they are right. However if you are not after a one night stand dressing in a more conservative manner might be more beneficial in the long run. You can still accent your positive features and hint at what you have. By not laying it all out on the table you can get a guy to notice you not as a sexual conquest but as someone he might actually like to pursue a relationship with.

Keep in mind that all guys react in different ways. With some guys all it will take is a subtle clue for them to pick up on the fact that you are interested in them. Other times getting his attention will take a bit more work. Don't give up. Some of the best relationships you can have will be with guys that are shy or don't seem as smooth when it comes to the relationship department.

Remember eye contact is important. Smile and strike up a conversation. Be confident but not flirtatious and realize that how you dress will say a lot about what type of relationship you are looking for.

Here is one last sneaky tip that you can use on a guy that will make him very curious. Make sure you know what you are doing before you attempt this. It has been proven to very effective at getting a guys attention.

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You Are Smart, Beautiful, and Sexy

My girlfriend Amanda and I went to lunch at the local IHOP last month to catch up, and so I could get my 'kid fix' (she has a 6 month old daughter); and I asked her: "What do you think made the most difference for you, with the self improvement work you did, to help you attract your man?"

She thought a moment, and then commented that the daily affirmations I gave her impacted her greatly, made the most difference with how she valued herself as a person, and subsequently allowed her to attract a higher quality man, who was more suited to her, than those she chose in the past. She said, "Chris (name changed) is so patient with me and the kids. He helps to center me. He's exactly what I need."

I thought about the affirmations I gave to Amanda and I realized that the year I listened to mine every single day, for 30 days in a row, I earned my first Free Car from Mary Kay - I felt so proud of myself! I agree with Amanda wholeheartedly that listening to positive affirmations on a daily basis had a profound impact on me, and the perception I held about myself, and were a big factor in my attracting Mario.

I remember I used to make my own audio tapes of positive statements about myself and the goals I wanted to reach each year. I recently stumbled upon one when I was cleaning out my basement. It was a lot of fun to listen to that tape again and hear the person I happened to be at the time.

Discovering it reminded me that our lives are a journey to be experienced, not wished away until we reach some magically perfect point in the future. Each year we transform into someone new, just like a butterfly morphs into a beautiful, delicate creature from a plain, lumpy caterpillar.

You have the opportunity to reinvent yourself every day to become the person you want to be. Every thought you think about yourself is a choice you make that is within your control. You do not have to rely on the perceptions that your parents, siblings, teachers, or friends placed on you when you were little. You can recreate the belief system you hold about yourself in a very short amount of time.

A belief is just a thought you choose to think over and over, and just because you have a belief does not mean that it is true or even a fact. There are people who believe in UFO's and aliens from other planets. Do they exist? I don't know. It doesn't matter what I think about it - if they believe it, it's true for them.

What does matter is; what do you believe to be true about yourself? Have you ever taken a moment to think about why you think those thoughts about yourself? Could it be someone else told you something repeatedly when you were an impressionable young person; and because they were older and you believed they knew everything because they were an adult, you presumed it must be true, so you chose to start believing the statement to be true for you as well?

I work with a girl who is extremely talented, bright, and capable; yet she thinks she is dumb because her father told her that she would amount to nothing if she didn't acquire a college degree. He also repeatedly told her she was stupid while growing up. Even now, as an adult, he continues to haunt her with degrading phrases of that nature. The interesting thing is; he doesn't have a degree. So, by his logic, does he amount to nothing?

Could it be possible that he doesn't feel good about himself, and he wants his kids to do better than he did, so he sends the message about receiving a college education, but because he wasn't parented well either, he's unable to share that message in a positive and productive way? She's working on finishing her degree now, but not because her dad thinks she should, rather, because it's the right choice for her in this moment. She is still working on changing her thoughts about herself, and she gets better at it every day, with continual practice.

What beliefs do you think you would hold about yourself if you had been perfectly parented? Take a moment and write some down. Do you love yourself? Did anyone ever tell you that you're beautiful? Do you believe that you're smart? Did you get what you wanted as a child or do you tell yourself that you don't deserve to have what you want, because if you did, why didn't you get what you wanted? Do you think that you don't matter?

If you were parented perfectly who would you be most important to? Who would be the most important people to you? Which of your beliefs hold the most significance for you? Rank your list in order of importance to you, and begin your affirmations with the one that feels the most meaningful to you. If you're having trouble, start with a list of beliefs about yourself such as:

• I love myself • I am loved • I am lovable • I am smart • I am talented • I am important • I am worthy • I am beautiful • I am pretty • I am desirable • I am sexy • I believe in myself • I am deserving • I deserve love • I am kind • I am loving • I am giving • I am trusting

If any of the beliefs feel too far away or untrue to you, then you can add qualifying words in front to help bring the statements closer to reality for you. For example, "I am beginning to learn to love myself".

You could make your own affirmation tape with the above statements or a complete list of your own. Or if that feels too challenging, you could start with a simple note on your mirror of just one of the statements. If you are concerned that someone may come into your house and see your note, you could put the note on the inside of a cabinet on a brightly colored piece of paper that feels good to you. Then take another piece of blank paper of the same exact color and cut it into little pieces and tape those pieces up around your house.

When your eye sees the color, your subconscious will make the association to the note written on the same colored paper in your cabinet and it will be as good as reading the words directly. You'll be reminded more often than just when you are in the cabinet and you won't feel embarrassed if someone happens to read your note. Repeated affirmations are just one way to change beliefs you hold about yourself into more positive ones.

In the meantime, get to work on loving yourself as much as possible, so that your man can love you more! (If that's even possible - wink!) Until you get there, lean into my belief in you and your greatness, your beauty and capacity for all possibilities to come true for you. I believe in you. You are loved.

Your man is already out there waiting for you to be ready to allow him into your life; you just have to believe it. Be patient and enjoy your journey. Trust me, he will be worth the wait, and soon you'll be telling the story of who you used to be before you met.

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How to Find Your True Love and Live Your Own "Happily Ever After"

I don't want to get all "dreamy" and say that "happily ever after" means having a life free from troubles just like how they described it in the fairy tales. For me it means spending your life with someone you love and weathering storms that come your way together. There will definitely be bumps on the road but since you have each other, everything is so much better. Life won't be perfect even if you find that one person who gives you butterflies in the stomach but knowing that there is someone by your side, it's not so bad afterall. There are ways on how to find your true love but before you even come down that road, you have to ask yourself first if you are ready. Don't try to find Mr. Right or Mrs. Right for the wrong reasons.

Read the following tips below on how to find love:

1.) Set Standards but Realize That Nobody is Created Perfect

Women are notorious (sorry, ladies) for creating a list and actually adhering to it like some kind of a holy book. While it is perfectly OK to set your standards, make sure you are not looking for a man that only exists in the movies or in romance novels. I admit that it's often difficult to clearly know the difference between being realistic and settling but ask yourself this question- are you everything that a man is looking for? I'm sorry to burst your bubble but every person has flaws and I'm not just referring to physical flaws. If you want to find true love, open your eyes and start looking at things on a different perspective. Once you've learned how to accept and love people for who they are and not for who you want them to become, you'll feel liberated and you will be much happier. Focus on the positive traits of the person instead of finding what's wrong with them all the time.

If you keep looking for your perfect mate, you will never find true love. Afterall, true love means seeing an imperfect person perfectly. It's all about seeing what's on the inside and most importantly valuing things that matter the most.

2.) Know Your Internal Blocks

What's keeping you from finding your true love? Whatever it is (still hung up on your ex, sky-high standards, insecurities, painful past, etc.) that's preventing you from being happy with someone, you have to work on it. If you want to find somebody so they can fix your issues for you then you are off to a horrible start. Don't jump into a relationship with emotional baggage. It's not only unfair to that other person but it's totally unhealthy for both parties involved.

If you want to find your true love, the first thing you have to do is get rid of all the clutter in your life. Clear your head and love yourself more. When you love yourself and you have a positive outlook towards life, this will definitely show and yes, you are going to attract more people.

3.) Take Responsibility on How to Find Your True Love

Some people like to leave matters to destiny and accept things as they are. They always say that love will find its way to you. And if it never comes? I say find it! You have to take responsibility of your life and the choices you make. Sure there are things that are out of our control but we have the power to make a choice and turn our life around. Mr. Right or Mrs. Right won't just come knocking on your door, that will never happen. If you want to meet someone then do something about it. Don't just sit at home and keep praying that the man or woman of your dreams would fall on your lap from heaven.

How to Get Your Ex Back

It's unfortunate that sometimes even the very best relationships go sour, but, even if we cannot see it, at first, there is always a reason.

There are actually countless reasons why good relationships turn bad and end up with a break-up. You might have endured meaningless arguments or you might have simply found that your ex stopped communicating with you completely and then pulled away, leaving you in the dark about what was happening.

People who are hurting and unsure of where their partner is at in the relationship often end up doing the exact opposite of the things they should be doing to bring their ex back to them.

This is because men will tend to do the things that seem logical to a man and women will tend to try the tactics that they would want to see. It is a big lesson to learn that men and women think differently. Applying male logic to the problem of winning back a female is usually counterproductive as is the reverse i.e. applying female logic to the process of winning back a male.

The really sad part about this is that, despite their best intentions, in these situations, both men and women tend to do things that will actually turn off and push away the person they really want to bring back into their lives and without even knowing they're doing it.

This means they're often doing the complete opposite of what they should be doing to bring back their ex and make that person a part of their lives again, yet they're totally unaware of it. Think about it. Is what you're doing right now to get your ex back working for you? Or is it just driving that person further away from you, making you feel even worse than you already do?

Let's look at some of the things men and women think about during relationships and how they view the actions of their partner. These insights can often bring about a much deeper understanding of what might have gone wrong within the relationship and bring a deeper knowledge of what to do when good relationships go wrong.

Men and Women are Biologically Different
You may think that this is stating the obvious, but apart from the obvious differences, there are vital hormonal and other biological differences that set us apart.

For example, did you know that in order for men to decrease their stress levels, they'll often look for ways to increase testosterone? This means they'll watch the news when they get home from a long day, seeking to find ways to spark their own "fix it" mode. This means they may enjoy grappling with other people's problems because it sparks a need within them to try and solve the problems of the world. That may be what he is thinking about even though he might be stationary on the sofa. He will be unavailable for real-world problems while he is getting his own stress levels sorted out.

When their testosterone levels are raised, they'll feel much better about the world and seek to remedy their own problems only after they've calmed down enough after a hard day at work, where they've spent the day trying to show their loved ones how much of a good provider they can be.

Unfortunately, women have the completely opposite biologically drives, which can cause problems within a relationship. For example, when a woman has increased testosterone levels within her body, it can actually increase her stress levels, causing her to want to fight about trivial matters that her partner can't possibly understand.

In order to reduce stress levels, women will find ways to generate the hormone oxytocin. Curiously, oxytocin is known in non-scientific circles as the "cuddle hormone" and it's been linked strongly to maternal behavior as well as being the bonding hormone that makes a woman want to bond more strongly with a partner.

Now, for women to create oxytocin, they need to feel loved, cherished and appreciated. When they tend to feel as though their partner is withdrawing from them, for any reason, this actually causes the hormone testosterone to flood their system instead which raises their stress levels and can tend to make them defensive.

For a man to experience a decrease of testosterone, conversely, he experiences a similar reaction where his own stress levels increase and this makes him defensive too.

So, this is just the beginning of the insight into what's happening in your partners mind and how you can win them back. Visit our website to learn more.

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What Is Love? Ten Tips for Falling In Love, Enhanced Through Relationship Counseling

What are the ways to fall in love and stay in love? Couples counseling can help two people enjoy a healthy relationship. Start today with these ten direct and established things you can do now, or this week, to improve the dynamics of your intimate relationship. Isn't it time you started feeling passionate about your partner to help your relationship?

1. Show your love and appreciation. You show your partner you care when you demonstrate that you adore and cherish them. Gifts? Small remembrances? Doing a small job for them? Don't assume they remember from a few years a go what you said or did. Be creative, thoughtful, and bold for increased sexual intimacy.

2. Live in the moment, be present. Let your soul soar with what makes you happy, and laugh, enjoy pleasure, don't take time for granted. Make more time to enjoy your vibrant energy through doing what you love, and then enjoy the moments of quiet, profound peace inside afterwards. Many call this mindfulness. Enhance your marriage, and remember you can also be more present with your self, as an adult. Individual and marital therapy can show you how.

3. Enjoy memories. Without believing you have to live in the past, reflect on the fun, joyful memories that have been created. Our feelings are connected with our thoughts, so when you remember the good times, the feelings can be recreated in our mind and body that we had with the experience.

4. Think about the future and offer your dreams. When you have a purpose that you love, don't you have more energy? Set some goals, dreams, and hopes up so you can both work towards them. This can keep you from feeling stuck, unmotivated, and bland. Your heart, what you love, is a powerful motivator!

5. Love your partner for who THEY are. In the passionate stages of intimacy, didn't we all believe the high energy would never stop? Then the differences began to emerge, and our romantic image of the other fades a bit. Remember to make a list of the many things (start with 50 and try for 100!) that are wonderful, great, and lovable in your mate, then show the list to them!

6. Try new things. We tend to love new adventures and experiences because we all love to expand our knowledge, skills, and capabilities. Confront the ruts that couples can get in to by learning something new. What about unusual classes, experiences, or trips?

7. Remember to have FUN. How do you like to laugh together? Can you find the humor in comedy clubs, funny books you read together, or new experiences? We all tend to get too serious as the years go on. What lightens you up? In couples counseling, learn how increasing the oxygen in your body can lead to better sex.

8. Find projects to work on together. When you become a team around some shared values, you can increase sexual intimacy and a bond that is very powerful. Work together on an important goal, and you will see the greatness in each other. Do you like helping your community, political movements, or the well-being of pets?

9. Don't forget what really matters. The well being of your self, and the health of your intimate relationship, is what is important. The little voice inside us all may want us to go for instant gratification, yet try to remember what you found important as you age. What does long-term loyalty mean to you and your family? Look for ways that give you excitement right now AND caring, loving people in your life.

10. Be of service, and your heart will grow. It may seem weird that the person you have the most fights with can also be the one you love the most. Uncover ways, through relationship counseling, where you give to, care, and serve your intimate partner, instead of asking them to prop you up the way a parent would. They are not your parent, and you are not a child, so learn ways to love your partner by giving caring attention TO THEM for who they are. As you give more, the more you love being the best person you can be, without drawing attention to your self. Living life, being in love, becomes the way you ARE, rather than love being something you HAVE to get from outside your self, as your heart becomes more self fulfilling, by loving well. You fall in love with a more truthful, realistic, alive, in the moment kind of love!

How to Communicate Effectively in a Relationship

Effective communication is very necessary in any relationship that is kin in growing stronger and stronger. Most relationship problems can be solved through effective communication in the relationship. I have read several posts on relationship communication but I think this particular one worth your time to read because you will learn something new.

When you talk of effective communication in relationship, you are talking about communicating in a standard that is very understanding between you and your partner. Most partners have gone on divorce simply because they failed to communicate with each other effectively. More than 60% of the world relationship break up is caused by lack of effective communication in the relationship. Hope your relationship does not fall into this categories of 60%, but if it is, you don't have to worry, because it can be fix after reading this post. Let look at very simple ways you and your partner can help build effective communication in your relationship:

Always listen to each other talk: one good way to communicate effectively in your relationship is to listen to your partner talk too. Most partners especially men; hardly listen to their female partners. This could be as a result of pride or they just lack the skills. Listening is also part of effective communication because it is only when you listen that you can hear and understand and then do the what. If your partner is talking to you, try as much as possible to listen to him/her. Nobody knows it all, everybody still learn one new thing or the other. So, learn to listen. Partners should form this skill as a habit; the skill of listening to each other. This can also be done by allowing or agreeing that each of you talk while the other listens. This should also be done one after the other. One advantage of this important skill is that it can help minimize misunderstanding in the relationship.

Learn to study your each other: most partners have quarrelled unnecessarily because they failed to study each other very well. This may be as a result of laziness or nonchalant attitude on the side of the partners. When you study your partner, you get to know what he/she likes and what turns him/her on any time and any day. The act of studying your partner takes time but can be done quickly by requesting that your partner takes a time out for vacation or something similar. This is to enable you both to ask each other questions relating to things each of you love and enjoy doing. This advice is for those partners who didn't know each other very well before going into the relationship.

Do not crucify your partner because of the way they felt over something: this is one big mistake lots of people make in relationship. You don't have to crucify your partner because he/she felt somehow over something. Take for instance, your partner was hurt emotionally because you did something which to you seemed very ordinary, and he/she complains to you that your action(s) hurt him/her emotionally. You don't have to nail him/her because he/she felt that way, all you have to do is calm him/her down, explain to him/her why you did that and explain to your partner that you saw it ordinary. You don't have to crucify your partner because he/she felt that way and you didn't. Remember that humans are very much different in the way they react to things. Now, if you are used to crucifying your partner each time something like this happens, he/she will then start looking for somewhere else to pure out the hurt feelings and you know it is not too good sharing any relationship problem outside the relationship. This is a very important way of building effective communication.

Partners should initiate separate and special time for communicating seriously: now, this does not mean that partners should not communicate with each other all the time but the essence of this is to fill in all the gaps the normal communication didn't fill. Take for instance, you and your partner have agreed to always make use of weekends to talk things out. I also recommend that such special days should be in lovely places where you and your partner can express love to the fullness.

Partner should give each other the opportunity to talk to when he/she requests for it: many partners are usually busy especially men. This has led to many partners suffering in silence: they don't have whom to share their pains and happiness with. Their partners are always busy. You should try never to be like those partners who are always busy and never ready to hear their partner out. Once your partner tells you that he/she wants to talk with you, please, abandon all you are doing and listen to him/her.

I hope these steps are very much helpful and apply them, you will see how the communication rate in your relationship will grow. Remember that communication is also expression and it is very important in any relationship.

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The Importance Of Being Vulnerable In Love

We women are expert doers and givers. If you don't think so, look at your life and think of all the things you do for others. I bet you're there for your girlfriends and family whenever there's a problem. I know I am, I want to help and I want to be needed.

But your giving nature can become a problem when you are trying to create a loving relationship with a man. If being a giver is the way you relate to the world then most likely being vulnerable is hard and you don't "receive" well from others.

This can cause frustration and heartbreak in your romantic relationships that you might not even be aware of it. It's the main barriers that keep you from connecting deeply with a man. Being vulnerable is what attracts a man to you and gives him permission to open up himself.

When a man woos you, there's an important aspect of his pursuit. He wants to take care of your needs and do things for you. Men need to feel that they're important to you, that they are have something to offer you that you can't do for yourself. If you have a problem being vulnerable it will show up in many ways.

Here are a few:

• You don't take compliments well, you deflect them away. For example, a man says that you are looking particularly pretty. Your response is to get embarrassed and reply that you don't really... or you could look better if (fill in the blank).
• You have a hard time letting your date take the lead when you go out. You can't help but suggest where you should go or what you should do. You make the decisions and begin to take charge of your "social life" together.
• You have a hard time showing vulnerability: You hide how you're feeling with a man and pretend that things are fine when they're not.

These are just a few examples of how you may be too much of a giver in relationships. This is a hard trait to change because it requires that you give up the control you're used to having in other areas of your life.

Being vulnerable is letting a man give to you. It may be a surprise for you to learn that your giving nature is a way you control the people around you. When you give, you are the one who decides when and how much! When you can accept what a man offers you, you're no longer in the driver's seat, you are at the mercy of what they chose to do for you.

If you're with a man who wants to do for you, and you can't accept his efforts because it's just too scary, you need to admit to yourself that you are out of balance and you need to make some changes. You need to work at being vulnerable.

When you learn that being vulnerable is a gift you give a man, it will change your life and all your relationships for the better.

Should You Try to Move On When You Still Love a Woman?

It's pretty hard to just forget about someone that you actually feel like you loved, isn't it? When you are still having those kinds of feelings about a woman you used to be in a relationship with, it can make you feel all kinds of conflicting emotions. And for the most part, it's not really good to feel that way. Should you move on if you still love a woman or is there a good reason for you to keep feeling that way about her?

Of course, the conventional wisdom is to say that you should move on and that you need to move on and in a lot of situations that would be something that I would totally agree with. However, there are also plenty of situations where I don't think that moving on is the best advice that you can get. Meaning, I do think that there are plenty of times when a guy feels like he still loves a woman and he could have a chance to be able to express that love if he is able to find a way to get her to open up and admit that she still feels that way as well.

When couples break up or are going through a rough time, it's hard for both people to just let go of any strong feelings that they have for one another. That usually means that if you are feeling like you still have those feelings, then there is a good chance that she does as well. If that is the case, then working things out can actually be a much better solution than to just try to move on and forget about her.

Here is some advice that you can use to work things out with her if you still feel that love:

1) You need to make sure that she still feels that way about you.

This can be hard to do, but if you really know her, then you should be able to get a good idea if she is still carrying feelings for you by paying attention to her body language and some of the things that she says when you talk to her. As long as you still get the impression that she is carrying some adoration for you, then you really may want to consider working things out rather than just moving on.

2) Sometimes love is not enough and if that is the case, then you have to really do the work to show her that you want to patch things up with her.

There are issues that come up between couples that you need to deal with no matter how much you may feel like you love her. One of the common mistakes that couples make is to assume that love will magically take care of everything and that is not always the case. If there are issues that need to be dealt with, then you do have to put in the work to handle them.

3) She probably needs to feel a little more attracted to you.

A good way to kind of entice a woman to want to work things out with you is to amplify the amount of attraction that she feels for you. If there really is still love there and you are able to tweak the attraction that she feels for you, you should be able to work things out with her and if you can, then you will be able to express your love for her the way that you want to.

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Learn How to Get a Man to Want You!

Whether you are still looking for the man that you want to want you or have found him and want to make him want you more - it's pretty easy to learn how to get a man to want you! If you take this advice and put it into action, you'll leave him wanting, begging and pleading for more of you!

Take a look at the best things you can do to get a man to want YOU:

1. Give Him Some Attention - But Not Too Much

Let's face it - men don't like when women throw themselves at them - at least when they are looking for someone for the long run. If you want to learn how to get a man to want you - you need to start by letting him know that you exist and/or that you just may have the slightest bit of interest in him.

How is this done? It depends on the situation, but think of it in a "cat and mouse" kind of way. If he stops to talk to you, engage in conversation but then abruptly say you have to get going because of some made-up reason. This will get his wheels turning and at least get him thinking about you.

2. Looks For Ways to Touch Slyly Touch Him

Depending on how well you know the man that you are trying to get to want you, this may or may not be difficult. When I say, find a way to touch him - it does not mean make a sexual pass at him. That will probably have him running the other way.

If you meet this guy for coffee or to study, nonchalantly drop something on the floor and when you bend down to get it - lightly brush your should against his leg. The key is to frame the touch to look like an accident. After a few "touches", you will have him going crazy and it will surely make him want YOU more!

3. Make Eye Contact

If you really want to get a man to want you, eye contact is key. They say that eyes are the windows to the soul - and it's obviously true. Making consistent eye contact with a person during conversation does multiple things to a man. First off, he will see that you are really listening to what he has to say. This is a major "turn on" for men because they are used to casual conversations with little meaning.

The second thing making eye contact will do is strengthen the emotional bond between the two of you. Once you are able to look someone in the eye, you have passed the "comfort" barrier. The bottom line is - remember to look him in the eye if you want the man to want you!

These tips are valuable for those of you that wish to learn how to get a man to want you. You can also use these tips in relationships where you already know that your boyfriend or husband wants you! These can be used to just add a little extra spark to those types of relationships!

How To Make A Man Fall In Love With You - Law Of Attraction In the Opposite Sex

Do you want the love of your life to notice you? Here's how you can make it happen.

First, you need to show your true self. Some people tend to act differently in front of the person they like because they are worrying about rejection. People who are insecure feel that if others know who they really are, they will not be loved and cared for. This is not true. The more you become different from yourself, the more people will not like you because they do not see the reality. You cannot hide who you really are therefore you should show people, especially the one you like, your true self.

Second, gather information. This does not mean that you should become a stalker. You do not have to be one especially if you and the guy have common friends. Use your connection to ask around about him. Gather useful information such as his hobbies, the music he likes and so on. The information will help you in starting a meaningful conversation with him once you get the chance. Of course, you should also get information about his current relationship status to know whether or not you stand a chance of winning his heart.

Third, get connected with him. If you have mutual friends, ask them to introduce him to you. You can tell one or two friends about your feelings for the guy in order to have a reliable back up in times of need. Once you and the guy finally have a decent conversation, strategize and make a way to get his contact details such as his mobile phone number or e-mail. You can also add him to your SNS accounts.

Fourth, let him be the man. Although we are living in the modern world where it is okay for women to be aggressive, make it a point to not become too aggressive. Most men do not like girls who make the first move because they believe it is something that should be rightfully done by men. When he tries to comfort you or help you in difficult situations, allow him to do so. He will definitely feel good if he feels that he is of help for you.

Fifth, play hard-to-get. If you notice that he is starting to like you and he is starting to make his move, try to be a little aloof. Do not totally avoid him because he may think you do not like him. Just give him a little space and chance to really pursue you. Make him realize that you are worth pursuing for. The man will treasure you more if he spent much effort in winning your heart.

Sixth, make efforts in making yourself attractive. Do not be a hypocrite and think that outward appearance does not matter in a relationship. It does no matter how much people tell you that it doesn't. Always make sure that you look decent and presentable. Always keep a proper hygiene too because body odor and bad breath are a great turn off for men.

Commitment Beyond Love's Wilderness Experience

Seasons of rockiness,
Years of turmoil in a row,
Put paid to marriage's cockiness,
Yet soon, in perseverance, we grow.

Calamities are despairing,
But hold on we must,
All it takes is caring,
To endure the sense of distrust.

If the unit that is "we,"
Has any chance at all,
We have to learn to breathe,
That, or we may fall.

Kindness and compassion,
Stand us in good stead,
They help when we're crashing,
Giving reason why we've wed.

Truth is we stand to learn,
Commitment's a simple wonder,
No better love do we earn,
Than the one we've not put asunder.

WHEN UNCERTAINTY COMES

Uncertainties come to test our relationships at the least expected times. As life is dynamic and unpredictable, so are our fortunes. A good season won't necessarily follow a bad one, and vice versa. Just focusing on goodness and fortune can be a trap of itself.

Sometimes our relationships are proven by the tests we have to endure.

When uncertainties come and spill over from our personal lives into the lives of loved ones there has to be an effect. Compassion is issued to a degree, but even compassion wears thin. One person's chagrin invokes another's, and so a process commences of individuals polarising into themselves.

The two who have become one begin to become two again.

Next thing there is a gradual walking away - not a physical thing, but a spiritual thing. We spend less time together. Interests diverge and suddenly we need and want less of each other. Though we mightn't feel it at the time, the relationship has reached somewhat a crisis point. But most relationships experience such stretching.

How might this end?

Relationships progress either one way or the other; the divergence continues into an unknown oblivion or the gravitation pulls the couple into the original alignment.

WHEN HONESTY REIGNITES COMMITMENT

If partners to a marital relationship can be honest with each other, and their love remains, desires enjoined, there is the re-ignition of commitment.

Where mutual desires meet with passion, and there is a unified hunger for intimacy, commitment is the vehicle to a soothing reunion of souls.

Together with honesty and the special ingredients of feeling - of wanting what "was" - commitment, as that vehicle, gains traction.

When relationships have a future it is love that compels us to invest in honesty that reignites the commitment that was once taken for granted.

The re-firing of commitment requires honesty, which, in turn, is evoked by courage. And courage is what we need in enduring the dry season. Not the courage of bravery, but the courage to persist and to have faith that goodness will again be known in the union.

© 2012 S. J. Wickham.

How To Save Your Relationship - How To Keep Him From Walking Away

Has the deep freeze hit your relationship? Would you like to find a way to thaw things out before you scare him off forever? Do you wonder what happened when things between you seemed to be going so well? Or were they going as well as you thought? Something must have happened and if you are honest with yourself you can probably figure out what happened to scare him off. The question is; what are you going to do about it, if you don't want to lose him?

Do you need a little help understanding what you might have done to scare him off? Well there are three big reasons that often cause a man to suddenly back off a relationship. Take a look and see if any of these are responsible.

Reason #1 - Men Take Longer To Commit

It often takes men a lot longer to totally commit to a relationship. They think about these things much differently than women do. For a woman, a relationship can be the single most important thing in her life and because of that she'll do whatever she can to move things along quickly.

For a man, though, a relationship is only one part of his life and it's probably not even the most important for him. While women run on emotions, men operate logically. That puts the relationship at the top of the list for a woman, while it's on the list for a man.

The point is if you put too much pressure on him to commit more deeply and more quickly than he's ready for, he may just decide it's not worth the hassle and break it off. If you give him all the time he needs and let him decide when he's ready, you won't scare him away.

Reason #2 - You May Be Spoiling Him Too Much

As a woman in love, you probably delight in taking care of your man. That nurturing instinct is strong, and hard to ignore. The problem here can be that you go overboard on the taking care of him and do too much.

Men do love to be pampered and spoiled to a point. But if you cross the line, it becomes an annoyance and almost insulting. You're trying to do a good thing, but he feels like you think he can't take care of himself. He feels smothered.

Or he may react by taking you and what you do for granted. He no longer appreciates it - he expects it. In his eyes you're becoming less a woman and more a maid. Neither of these reactions is what you want. Eventually, he'll say enough, and be gone.

Reason #3 - Did You Undergo A Drastic Change From When You First Met?

Have you changed and become a different woman? If he feels like he met and fell for someone else, you may have a problem. You don't have to be different to be loved. Remember who he fell for and be that woman, not some new and improved model.

It's amazing how many women lose their identity and individuality when they get involved with a man. It's like they feel they can stop trying, now that they have someone. Sadly, they are overlooking the fact that their man fell in love with this unique woman and they don't want you to be so different that they don't recognize you any longer.

Do you understand what happened to scare him off? Great, now get to work fixing the problem and hopefully that deep freeze will start to thaw out and you can get back to loving each other.

Want to learn more about how to save your relationship? Then I'd love to help you!

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Inner Man and Woman - Love and Freedom

What are the inner man and woman? Our being consists of two energies: the male and female aspect. Irrespective of if we are a man or a woman, we have both a male and female side. Life develops through opposite poles and tendencies for example yes and no, joy and sorrow, light and darkness, positive and negative, day and night and life and death.

Just as electricity needs both a negative and positive pole for a spark to arise, the human consciousness has also two poles. These two poles are the male and female side. The right side of the body represents the male side and the left side of the body represents the female side. We all have both a male and female side, which is represented by the right and left side of the body. Our inner male and female sides are expressed on the outside as relationships. Often our longer and deeper relationships with an outer man or woman are a mirror of our own inner man or woman.

In every meeting with a man or woman, a conscious or unconscious comparison occurs with our own inner man or woman. If there is a comparison with our inner man or woman, we fall in love. Relationships are a development and a dance between our inner male and female sides. A one-sided development of the male side leads to ego, struggle, destructivity and a separation from life. A one-sided development of our female side leads to dependence and passivity. It is when we have developed a balance and harmony between both our male and female side that a new spark of joy, creativity and wholeness arises within ourselves. The basic problem with the world today is the unbalance between the male and female aspects, the unbalance between our inner and outer world, the unbalance between knowledge and wisdom, the unbalance between intellect and intuition and the unbalance between activity and rest. Relationships are a development and a dance between our inner male and female sides. It is a balance and a dance between love and freedom, between aloneness and relating, between strength and receptivity, between closeness and distance, between intellect and intuition, between relaxation and activity and between meeting and leaving.

Outer relationships are a mirror of the relationship and communication between our own inner male and female sides. Outer relationships with a man or a woman are a possibility to understand our own inner man or woman. Outer relationships with a man or a woman are a mirror of the relationship between our own inner man and woman. Embracing our own inner man and woman means to understand the inner drama that happens between our male and female aspects, which manifests on the outside as relationships. Love means to understand the drama that happens between the inner man and woman. It means to allow both the inner man and woman to find their creative roots and expression.

When we have developed a trust in both our inner man and woman and they can nourish, support, communicate and cooperate with each other, a love begins to flow between them. Often we are identified with either the inner man or woman, while the other side is hidden and unexpressed. Outer relationships are a mirror of the relationship and communication between our own inner man and female side. Sometimes one side is dominant, while the other side is submissive.

Sometimes one side is developed, while the other side is undeveloped. Sometimes one side takes responsibility for the other side. Both the inner man and woman need to find their own integrity and independence. When both the inner man and woman takes responsibility for themselves and lives their own truth, a joy and love begins to flow naturally between them. Through understanding both the inner man and woman, we understand that outer relationships simply mirror the relationship between our inner man and woman. This understanding gives us the opportunity to take conscious responsibility for our choices and our further steps towards spiritual maturity.

Through becoming aware of how the inner man and woman relates and communicates inside ourselves, it creates a joy and satisfaction in the three life areas that they influence: our meditation and inner growth, our relationships and our work and creativity. The heart is the door to our inner woman. The heart is the door to our inner world. The power chakra relates to the inner man. The power chakra relates to the outer world. Irrespective of if we are a man or a woman, the inner woman is the center of our consciousness. The inner man is the periphery of our consciousness. It is also the inner man that takes care of and protects the inner woman for example through putting up creative boundaries. The meeting between a man and a woman on the outer plane creates a relationship. This relationship is not a conflict, but they complement each other. The outer meeting between a man and a woman also creates integration between our own inner male and female sides. It is when our inner male and female sides meets within ourselves that a new spark of love, joy, and wholeness arises within ourselves.

When I meet a woman who matches my own inner woman, I notice that it creates a joy in my heart. It is the joy of recognition, a longing after inner wholeness between my own inner man and woman. It is the inner longing that the outer relationship will help us to reconnect the relationship between our inner male and female sides and makes us whole. In this way our outer relationships becomes a possibility to develop and integrate our inner man and woman in the relationship with an outer man or woman. In this way the outer relationships creates a possibility to learn to love both our outer partner and our own inner male and female side. It is when we develop both our inner man and woman that we find a new harmony and wholeness within ourselves. Healing means to develop and integrate our inner man and woman so that love can flow between them.

To rediscover our own inner source of love, we need to embrace both the male and female sides within ourselves. When these two sides are developed and integrated, a new spark of love, joy, harmony, creativity and wholeness arises within us. Awareness is an inner harmony between opposite poles and tendencies. Awareness is a choiceless consciousness. Awareness is the capacity to embrace, accept and include both joy and sadness, love and aloneness, light and darkness, male and female qualities and life and death. Through saying "yes" and accepting both tendencies and including whatever aspect that happens in the moment, we meet our unlimited and boundless inner being. The inner man and woman need to find their own independence and integrity. When both the inner man and woman takes responsibility for themselves and lives their own truth, a joy and love begins to flow naturally between them. Healing means to develop the inner man and woman so that love can flow between them. Healing is to learn to love both our inner man and woman. It is to learn to live the truth of both the inner man and woman. I have always been in contact with my inner woman.

When I studied psychology at the University, a woman in the class of becoming psychologists said once that she thought that I was the only man in the class that did not despise woman. I have always loved and respected my inner woman, which have also created a genuine love for woman on the outside. In fact, I started my own psychological development process through developing my inner woman and then I developed my inner man. The inner woman is the source of healing. The inner woman is the source of silence. The inner woman is the source of love. The inner woman is the source of belongingness with life. Embracing the inner man and woman is to discover our inner roots and wings.

Becoming aware of our inner man and woman means to discover the roots and creative potential of both the male and female aspect within ourselves. Becoming aware of the inner man and woman means to understand that they have different visions of life. It means to understand that they have different perspectives and views of life. The inner man and woman are our two wings of love and freedom. Through awareness, acceptance and understanding, we can allow our two wings to develop in a deep and natural harmony. In the world today, a one-sided development of the male side leads to destructivity. A one-sided development of the male side leads to ego, struggle, exhaustion and a separation from life. A one-sided development of the female side leads to passivity and dependence. How does the inner man and woman relate to money, creativity and financial abundance? Existence is abundance.

Traditionally men have created a deep split between the inner and outer world, between body and soul, between the material and spiritual world, between love and money and between male and female qualities. The inner man and woman are related to money, creativity and financial abundance. Through investigating the roots of the inner man and woman, we can find the creative potential of both the inner man and woman. Sometimes can either the inner man or woman also provide financial support for both sides, while the other side has the idea that it cannot support itself financially.

I have always been in contact with my own inner female side, which has also given me an understanding for woman. Now I also feel that I have developed a balance between my own male and female side. I feel that I have found a balance between, freedom and love, between love and relating, between strength and receptivity, between silence and activity and between intellect and intuition. When we embrace the opposites within ourselves and understand that inner harmony arises when they mature, we find the love, joy, silence and freedom that are hidden in every moment. It is my experience that it is through the inner female side that we find the depth within ourselves - independent of if we are a man or a woman. It is through the female side that we find the inner source of love and truth. It is through the female side that we lit the light of our own consciousness. The more we learn to know the inner man and woman and the more we accept their different visions of life, the more a meeting happens between them that makes us happy and satisfied. Through embracing both these sides in ourselves, we realize that we really lack nothing - but that we already are love. When both the male and female side is capable of living in trust, a love begins to flow between them - a love that was always possible, but not realized. The inner woman is the meditative quality within ourselves. The inner woman is the source of love and truth. The inner woman is the capacity to surrender to life. It is through the inner woman that we are in contact with life. It is the inner woman that is the door to belongingness with the Whole.

5 Ways on How to Keep a Guy Happy

If you want a man to stay in your life, you have to know what keeps him happy. There is a ton of information written about this topic and it may get confusing because some of them say that you have to treat a man like a king while others advice women to be strong-willed and make the man feel that they are the boss. It's actually pretty straightforward, respect your man without being a doormat.

There are many ways on how to keep a guy happy but let's not complicate things here. There are simple but foolproof ways on how you can make your boyfriend or husband grinning with happiness at the very thought of you.

1.) Respect his Privacy.

Just because he is committed to you it doesn't mean that you can demand for his Facebook and e-mail password. And please don't think that you can tinker with his phone and scan his contacts and messages. Every adult has the right to privacy and if you trust your man, why do you need all his passwords? Bottom line is if you can't trust the guy then walk away from him. You're saving yourself and your partner from the horrors of endless fights and confrontations.

If you are in a mature, loving relationship and your partner does not give you any reason to distrust him then you shouldn't check all the messages and drive yourself crazy by snooping in his business. If you respect your man's privacy, he would respect yours too.

2.) Cook for him.

The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. It's a cliché but I've always believed in that which is why I learned how to cook at such an early age. Cooking is a glorified skill that you have to learn. No buts no ifs! As simple or as shallow as it may sound, cooking for a guy fulfills a basic human need and it also sparks off feelings about being cared for. Find out about your man's favorite dishes and if you must, get the recipes from his mom or grandma. Give him a surprise when he comes home from work. He's going to love you for this!

3.) Be a sex kitten.

I think this is a no brainer. Pleasing a man in bed is almost a guarantee that he is going to stick around, of course with the added benefits that are mentioned above. Unleash your wild side in the bedroom whether it entails you to wear costumes or doing it in other parts of the house like the kitchen. Wear sexy lingerie and get a bikini wax. This will definitely make you feel good about your body. Also, don't always wait for him to make the first move. It wouldn't hurt if you take the lead sometimes. Take charge, woman!

4.) Compliment him.

You think women are the only creatures who love to be complimented? Well, think again! Men are no different and if you are able to make your boyfriend or husband feel good about himself, then you clearly know how to keep a guy happy. No matter how small the compliment is (he has a great smile, gorgeous eyes, or how he looks extra handsome in that blue shirt), your man will appreciate it. Just be sincere every time you praise him. If you see something you don't like, just don't say anything. You don't have to fake it and lie to him.

5.) Don't ever emasculate your man especially in front of his friends.

Men love strong, independent women but this does not mean that they like being humiliated and berated. Never ever make a man feel less like a man even when he's done something wrong. Don't put him down when he makes wrong choices. Hitting below the belt is a definite no-no!

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How to Tell If He's TRULY The "One" (The "Invisible" Force That Never Lies)

Who else is in a relationship, and is confused about what it means? Is it the real deal? Have I met my soulmate? Or am I just spinning my wheels and wasting my time on yet another relationship that's NOT going to work out? The truth is, while there are millions of women (and many men as well!) asking this exact question every day of every week of EVERY year... the answer is surprisingly simple to spot for most.

As a writer, publisher, love intuitive and relationship counselor to thousands of women, the secret to understanding true love is often as much about YOU as it is about him.

Each of us has unique, hidden or "invisible" forces that work relentlessly in all of our relationships.

There are things we want (and get) from each relationship we are in... and quite often, the needs and desires that each partner wants, and is getting met through the relationship, are very different.

This leads to what I refer to as an "imbalance in emotional equilibrium", and mismatched meanings that WON'T make marriage (or any relationship) happy for long.

For example?

You can be in love with someone, deeply, passionately and with the full of your emotional intensity, and yet never really be happy, IF that person's underlying emotional needs are much different than your own.

A woman whose core values and who fundamentally craves security, family and commitment often falls in love with men whose core values are fun, freedom and financial focus.

No matter how strong you may feel for another... unless there is a core shift in the underlying emotional energy in one partner or the other (or ideally both) the relationship will invariably NOT work out.

The STATISTICS bear this out, as well.

How? Because 65% of all relationships end in divorce. It's not that the couples never were in love... it's that they have different emotional energy.

As an emotional intuitive and someone who works with the energy of emotion, this underlying invisible "force" is akin to your AURA.

You can change it with practice... but most of us never will. We are, who we are. And because of that, no matter how powerful or persuasive the fleeting love you feel for someone in the beginning feels, in the long haul... picking partners that DON'T match your map of meaning are destined to fail.

The easiest way to find out if he's the one early on in the relationship... BEFORE you get hurt?

I know this is going to sound too new age and controversial for many of you, but trusting your intuition, and listening to the "direction" that the Universe wants you to follow is the real key to authentic love, happiness and bliss. Each of us comes into the world with a specifics set of plans, a PURPOSE and the passion to pursue our highest calling. Far too many of us, especially WOMEN... listen to our heads, rather than our hearts, when it comes to meeting our "match" and we give up far too much when we make a mistake.

I believe making the invisible, "visible" is the key to living the life of your dreams. (and it starts by believing your soulmate is already selected, that you have ONE one perfect partner waiting for you, and you DON'T need to settle to find them!)

This news article is brought to you by CONTRACEPTIVES - where latest news are our top priority.

Relationship Advice for Couples - How to Build Love in Relationship

Do you know that building love in relationship can be very difficult? This is because you both have to take some certain decisions that could be hard to take but it can be exciting at the long run. Wait a minute; do you know what I mean by my statement? Relationship is a very difficult practice base on the fact that two people of different personality are in the relationship and in one way or the other; they will definitely hurt each other. Relationship heartbreak, relationship hurt, relationship disappointments are more of the reasons why relationship remains very difficult task. But if you and your partner can build love gradually with the steps I will be highlighting here, with God in your side, you and your partner will definitely experience a successful relationship.

In the process of building love in your relationship, you and your partner must respect the word 'OPENNESS'. What does this have to do with a love relationship? Being open in your relationship is a simple way of building love in your relationship. This implies that both of you have to tell each other everything about each other. You both have to tell each other all the truth about each other. There is one thing I know, which is, only the truth can set you free. This also can be implied in the relationship, meaning that, if you and your partner can be that open minded towards each other, you both will share truth and truth alone. This in return, will bring the much desired love in the relationship. One thing that brings problem in a relationship is money. Take for instance, money is one big problem in any relationship, and men have to be very open to their female partners if they really want to save their relationship from the wrath of money. Try as much as possible to tell your woman about your income and the amount you have in the bank. If you are smiling in your income, let her know, if you are not smiling because of the income, please, let her know. Let her also have access to your bank account at anytime. The same applies to women who are also in relationship or married. Openness and not secrecy saves any relationship.

Give your partner access to your email address, your social network sites, let your partner know your friends and family members, let your partner know those that matters in your life, this will surely prevents problems when they want to come. Also, let your partner know all about your movements, what you can do and what you cannot do. You and your partner should also give each other access to each others' cell phones. Please, password should not exist between the both you but if it does exist, you both should share it with each other.
One important point I must point out is that women should allow their husbands to give a 'go ahead' to what they want to do. Know that your husband is the captain of the ship and should be allowed to drive it. When two captains are in the same ship and are driving the ship, the ship will definitely crash. What I mean is that you should not do what your man is not in support of because you both have to work as a team and move on.

Most ladies do tell lie because they want a guy, please, find a suitable time to confess to him. Do it in a very romantic way and he will forgive you as long he loves you. You the man, you have to confess too if you have ever lied to her just to protect the relationship at one time or the other. There are certain times to tell your partner about something, this must be done during you both happiest moments and must be very romantic. Truth and openness heals and restores love in relationship.

Let nothing be hidden in you, let your partner know everything about you and all that you are doing so as to avoid communication breakdown. When you talk of communication in relationship, you are talking about every activity that concerns the relationship. This means that you and your partner must be open and communicate effectively so as to prevent communication breakdown. Hope you know that once the communication is dead, the relationship is also dead. Always remember the word-Openness.

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Relationships - The Balance Between Love and Freedom

Love is not an exclusive relationship; love is a quality and depth of being. Our outer relationships are a mirror of our basic inner relationship with ourselves. Relationships are a balance, a development and a dance between our male and female qualities. All people seek love, joy and harmony in their own way. We all want to be loved for who we are. We all want to be acknowledged and accepted for the unique individual we are. The problem in relationships arises when we seek our own center, our own source of love, in another person. We seek a source of love outside of ourselves.

The problem in relationships is that the other person also seeks after his own center, his own source of love, in the other person. In this way both persons will sooner or later feel disappointed and cheated, because of their expectation on the other person. It is first when we let go of the idea and expectation that the other person will give us the love that we do not have inside ourselves, that the base for a really loving, satisfying and meaningful relationship is possible. It is first when the relationship becomes a giving of love, instead of a taking of love, that the relationship becomes really nourishing and satisfying. As long as we look for the source of love outside of ourselves, we will eventually become disappointed and disillusioned.

It is first when we can relate from our inner being, from our inner center, from our inner source of love and truth, that relationships becomes really loving, creative and satisfying. It is first when we discover the source of love within ourselves, which is our true nature, that we can become really happy and satisfied. As long as we need another person to cover up our inner feeling of emptiness, to cover up our inner darkness and loneliness, the relationship will sooner or later end up in disappointment frustration and disillusioned expectations. It is first when we no longer need the other person to fill our inner emptiness, that we consciously can relate from our inner being, from the authentic self, from our overflowing inner source of love.

When relationships are based on the expectation that a partner should fill our inner emptiness, it is like offering an empty cup to our partner with the expectation that the partner should fill our empty cup - instead of overflowing from our inner being and filling our cup from within ourselves. The difference between acting out of our inner being, from our inner source of love, and acting out of our inner emptiness, is like the difference between acting out of light and darkness. I have noticed how much of my professional life - as a therapist and a course leader - that has been a way to fill my own inner emptiness and a way to receive love, acknowledgement and acceptance. I notice what a difference it is to be in contact with another person from a desire to get love from the other person or to be in contact with another person without any desire to receive anything from the other person.

When I can rest in my own inner source of love, it creates a joy and a relaxation in me. It also gives me the freedom to give others the space to be who they are in the moment. I have also learnt not to act when I am not in the light. I have learnt to wait to act until I am in the light again. I have noticed that when I can be in contact with myself - instead of reacting automatically and searching love outside of myself - I can witness my own inner feeling of emptiness, my own need of love from without myself. This awareness changes my need to look for love outside of myself and it makes my own inner source of love begin to flow from within myself. It is awareness and acceptance that allows me to be with myself and witness my own feeling of wanting love from without myself. It is like being with this feeling and embrace it like a mother embraces her child. This awareness and acceptance makes me come back to my own center, instead of seeking source of love from without myself. I also notice that the more I can accept both when am in the light and when I am in the dark, the more this awareness and acceptance makes more light than dark moments arise.

A key to relationships is to know the difference between when it is time to hold on and when it is time to let go. The criteria are the degree of joy and satisfaction that the relationship creates. If there is love and truth in the relationship, life will sustain the relationship by itself. If there are not love and truth in the relationship, it will change. Expectations are the basic problem in relationships. Expectations are ideas of I should be, how my partner should be and how the relationship should be. When the relationship does not fit with our preconceived ideas and expectations, we become disappointed.

When I told a beautiful woman who I had a relationship with that I loved her for the first time, she did not answer back that she also love me. Instead she was silent for a long time and then she said: "You are courageous to say that!" Her own truth was that she was not ripe at that moment to say that she also loved me. At that moment she was not ripe to take the commitment that it means to say to another human being that "I love you." I had no expectation that she should say that she also love me. For me it was a giving without expecting anything in return. For me it was a way to overflow from my inner source of love and truth. Instead of asking if she loves me, it is simply more creative to ask myself if I love her. It is a sharing of my love - and then it is up to the other person what he or she wants to do with it. He or she does not have to do anything with it either.

What is the difference between the love pole and the freedom pole in relationships? Relationships are a balance between love and freedom, where often one partner chooses the freedom pole and the other partner chooses the love pole. The freedom pole means that the partner chooses his own freedom, independence and individuality before the relationship. The love pole means that the partner chooses love, to be together and the relationship. It is like the image that one partner is always trying to run away from the relationship, while the other partner is running after. Earlier I have almost always chosen the freedom pole in relationships, but in one of my latest relationships I found myself in the love pole as she continuously chose her own freedom and independence before the relationship. It did not bother me as I loved her and it was also a valuable meditation for me. But I could also see that if the relationship should be alive and develop, both partners need to have a basic commitment to the relationship. Both partners need to have a love for each other so that these two poles do not become a mechanical way of reacting. If there is love and truth in the relationship, life will sustain the relationship by itself. If there are not love and truth in the relationship, it will change.

Through learning to both be alone with ourselves and to relate in love with other people, we can easier appreciate and accept when life offers us periods of both love and aloneness. It also makes it easier to see when it is authentic to be alone with ourselves and when it is authentic to relate to other people. Some people cling to relationships to avoid meeting their own aloneness. Other people chose aloneness so that they do not have to relate with other people and risk being hurt or betrayed. Through learning to both be alone with ourselves and to relate with other people, it gives us a new freedom to relate to life. It gives us a new joy and freedom in both being happy and satisfied in our own aloneness and in relating with people in joy, acceptance, trust, friendship, humor, playfulness, understanding, compassion, silence, sincerity, freedom and a sense of oneness in love.

Personalized Birthday Greeting for Your Husband

Your husband is celebrating his birthday soon, and getting him a birthday card is simply thoughtful. There are a lot of theme choices that you can choose from - from funny to nostalgic to romantic - each of these cards have messages and one of them might just have exactly what you wanted to tell your beloved husband. A homemade card is regarded as more special, because of the time and effort put into it. It shows that you have indeed carefully thought for it and have prepared for it well. The choices are endless. Below are some points you may want to consider in choosing which card to give your husband.

You may be thinking of giving him something that can brighten up his special day. Book shops offer a lot of funny greeting cards you can choose from. There are some that has its message delivered through a joke, while there are others who have a caricature about birthdays and growing old. You may also want to create your own funny message. And if you are gifted in making caricature, you may try making a funny card yourself. Write the funny joke you have created, or the funny poem you want to quote, then paste or draw a funny image in your card.

You and your spouse may have been together for so long and you just want to thank him for his support and love on his birthday. Giving him a sentimental card could be your best find. You may check the local book shops for cards that share your same sentiments. You may also make a list of the things that you would love to do for him, and make this as your gift of service on his special day. Inserting a coupon for a spa treat inside the card would also be nice.

You can also create a homemade card with a photograph of your husband, or a photograph of you together. You can choose to either have one or make a collage of photos. Add a creative touch to it by sprinkling some glitters on the sides and painting the background with watercolor. You may also add some pressed flowers for embellishments. Create a little logo or monogram at the back of your card for a more personal touch.

If you are tech-savvy enough, you may want to try creating a video greeting for your husband. Or an electronic card using Adobe Flash. There are several software that you can use for creating a video. Microsoft Movie Maker is one of the simplest software you can use to create a video. You may want to try creating a slideshow of your favorite photos of your husband, and add a recorded greeting from you and from the rest of the family. You may also want to explore creating an animated card with the aid of Adobe Flash. There are several tutorials online that can guide you.

How to Get Him to Say I Love You

"I Love You"- the three words that would somehow seal the deal, it's what defines where you and your partner stand in each other's lives. We all want to hear it but then again nobody has the courage to say I love you first. Being in the first few stages of the relationship is rather tricky because we, women, are told or should I say instructed to wait for the man to say these three little words first. While it is true and almost fool proof to let the man take the lead, it wouldn't hurt if they could use our help in uttering those words. Women are so intuitive and more often than not, we know if a guy has fallen deeply in love with us. It's just a matter of pushing those words out of your man.

Fortunately, there are some easy ways on how to get him to say I love you without making it appear that you are a commitment-hungry chick. If your man has given you all sorts of clues that he indeed loves you, the easiest way on how you can make him utter I love you is by showing him that you feel the same way for him. Men just don't blurt out the words without being certain that you are going to say it back.

Also, they will not tell a woman they love her unless they are absolutely sure about their feelings. You may not know it but guys are equally insecure and if there's something they don't want to get wounded, it is their pride. They need a lot of encouragement or should I say affirmation that we accept them for who they are and we are willing to commit. If you watched the popular sitcom "Friends", there's this one episode where Ross said "I Love You" to Emily but then her reply was "Thank You. See that's the answer that men don't ever want to hear!

Give your man some obvious clues that you are also into him and you are equally crazy about him. Spend time with him and be a good listener. Show him that you are interested about his hobbies. Give him a compliment like how he looks really handsome in that red shirt or how he smells so good in the morning, laugh at his jokes and do something special for him once in a while like making his favorite lasagna recipe or offering to help him run errands over the weekend. Just be careful not to overdo it because instead of seeing you as a potential life partner, you are going to remind him of his mother.

Spending quality time with your man does not however mean that your world should revolve around him. As much as he loves you, he still wants his freedom to do things on his own sometimes. That goes the same for you too. Having a man in your life doesn't mean that you would stop seeing your other friends. Don't drop everything or everyone just to be with him the second he tells you he's free on Saturday night.

If you have been only seeing each other for a couple of days or weeks, it's not healthy for you to expect too much and have him say I love you. Keep your expectations real and never assume or give meaning to everything he does. Stop over thinking it! While there are ways on how to get him to say I love you, it's very important for both of you not to feel pressured to say the words. Take advantage of the thrills and excitement of the beginning stages of the relationship. Use this time to get to know your man and enjoy each other's company.

How To Get Your Boyfriend To Commit To Marriage

You feel you have found the right guy for you, and he has been your boyfriend for years. You love him, and you know he loves you, too, but he seems afraid or tentative about settling down. Now you are probably asking yourself, how to get your boyfriend to propose? If you have a great relationship up to this point, don't ruin it simply because he doesn't want to commit. Clearly, if you wish to tie the knot, nagging him about it or saying that you'll leave him if he does not commit, will just make him more disenchanted about marrying you. Below are some pointers on how you can get your boyfriend to propose, without sounding too needy.

Instead of hounding your boyfriend about marriage, convey your interest in tying the knot in a subtle manner. You could for instance mention about someone else who got married or engaged recently and make a comment on an engagement commercial.

If he does not react to these hints, you may talk about your future as a couple. You can tell him that you can't imagine being with anyone else, for instance. You have to remember though that while this concept is something you have been considering for a long time, this conversation may be new to him. Give him the benefit of time to sort things through. Don't get frustrated if he does not have any prepared answers yet to all of your proposal or marriage related questions. If your boyfriend seems reluctant or exudes an air of nonchalance about settling down, he might have some fears or worries. Maybe he feels that such a commitment would require career stability and a steady stream of income, and he is not yet very confident that he can support you and your future family.

If your boyfriend is somewhat a logical thinker, you would have better luck in convincing him to propose if you mention about the financial incentives married couples get from taxes, insurance premiums, and others. You could also point out your shared interests, or attributes that make you complementary to each other so he'll realize that you're the perfect one for him. Still, action speaks louder than words. Showing him how thoughtful, and caring you are will make him want to marry you.

Lastly, tell your friends and family not to gang up on him or teasing him about marriage. If anything, this will just discourage your boyfriend from proposing to you even more.

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How to Accept Good Love Advice and Ignore the Bad

It is very common for our friends and family to offer us love advice, even when it's not needed. General advice given may not work for you and your partner. It is always a courteous gesture to at least listen to what someone has to say. There may be parts in their advice that do pertain to your specific relationship that can help strengthen it. You will find that some advice offered will be completely useless. It is up to you to figure out what advice to take and what to leave alone.

Constructive advice can be very beneficial. It may just give you ideas to help restructure a problem or setback. Sometimes the advice offered can help you to open up more to your partner. Communication and trust are the hardest elements to keep healthy in a relationship. It's common to see a couple get stuck at these points. Friends and family may offer suggestions or examples from their own lives that can help your relationship. In some cases, the advice of a relationship therapist may be needed. A therapist's approach may seem a little harsh but their suggestions and advice are often proven methods that have worked for many couples.

The best advice is likely to come from someone that has had a successful and long lasting relationship. Those that are unsuccessful in relationships may appear to have good advice, but if their own advice hasn't worked for them it is likely not to work for you either. Be careful with whose advice you do take. Taking the wrong advice can leave you lonely and back at the drawing board completely. A suggestion is to listen to more than one person's advice that has had a successful relationship and use the similarities in them to come to your own conclusion on what to do.

Asking for advice and being offered advice are two different things. When you ask for advice it is important to be willing to take in and listen to what is being said. It may not always be what you want to hear. That is part of life though; everything isn't always going to be what we want it to be. A person may suggest that you end a relationship even though you try to tell yourself that you're happy. It really may be the right advice. It's not always the answer though. Sometimes a healthy conversation with our partners can put us back on the right path to move forward and past a problem. Friends and family always have your best interest in mind. Some may seem harsh and it may appear that they don't want to see the relationship succeed but the truth is that they just want to see you happy. Always be willing to accept good and bad advice, because there will always be advice that doesn't work or seems unreasonable. When taking advice from someone, put your own thoughts into it to make it more pertinent to your specific relationship

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How To Get Your Man To Commit To An Exclusive Relationship

So you and this guy have been dating for quite some time, but he seems not very inclined to be exclusive. You're probably asking yourself how to make your guy commit. Some women believe that giving the guy an ultimatum, such as by telling him that she would leave the relationship if he can't commit, won't make him commit. By forcing him to make an all or nothing decision, you will just make him pull back even more, because he will be associating stress and pain with the commitment.

It is also a mistake to offer yourself completely to a guy before he has expressed any intention of committing. This pertains not only to sex, but also to the time you spent with him, and the attention you give him. Changing your schedules just to accommodate his schedule, or giving in to all of his demands, reeks of desperation, and will just give him the idea that he can get all of that without any commitment, so why change anything?

While it may seem old-fashioned, but mothers' and grandmothers' advice to let the guy chase you until you catch him still holds true today. Allow him to pursue you, and reward his efforts by giving him an amazing time when you're together. Basically, what you want for him is to feel that life as a single guy can never be more exciting than being with you.

Create more of a life outside his orbit by starting a new hobby without him, or hanging out with your friends without inviting him. Once there is another thing that competes for your attention, he will sense that he would need to step it up by investing more into the relationship. You can also make big life decisions by yourself. Doing such will make him see that you intend to live your life the way you want it, and that he would need to commit if he wants his opinions to matter.

Sometimes, a bit of jealousy can be a way on how to get a guy to commit. Men have problems dealing with you going out with someone you have a so-called "platonic" relationship with. If he feels a bit jealous about your platonic relationship with your friend, he might just strive to be more endearing to you.

If despite your efforts, your man still seems uninterested as ever, maybe it's time for you to move on. It may be time to consider leaving the relationship, and looking for another person who is more mature and ready to commit.

How to Get a Man and Keep Him for Good

There are no guarantees in life even with love. We fall in love with somebody and we hope for the best. Is that good enough? I don't think so! My philosophy in life has always been "Do not give up without giving a good fight" and this goes the same when it comes to relationships. If you want to know how to get a man and keep him for good, you have to make the conscious effort to keep things interesting. I know there comes a point in a relationship where you are both secure about your feelings that you unknowingly take each other for granted. This shouldn't be the case. Every day gives you a chance to show that other person how much they mean to you so take advantage of it. Here are some helpful tips to make your man in love with you forever:

1.) Learn how to appreciate every little thing he does. It doesn't hurt to say Thank You, does it? Don't do the opposite by nagging him for the things he fails to do. Men love it when we appreciate their efforts. Also, it'll be great if you will appreciate your man for who he is instead of focusing on his negative traits. Women have the natural instinct to see what's wrong with everything. Look at the big picture and be thankful that you have an honest man who will never cheat on you instead of sulking that he doesn't write you long love letters.

2.) Stay committed and faithful. I can't stress enough the importance of fidelity in a relationship. Trust is a vital aspect of any loving, committed relationship and if your man can't trust you, how do you expect to keep him?

If you have problems, don't turn to someone outside the relationship. Try to work things out with your partner. Your man is going to appreciate your honesty and commitment to him.

3.) Be romantic. I think it is part of our nature to be complacent and when we've been with one person for a long time, it's so easy to take everything for granted. Romance is very important to keep the fire burning. Being passionate towards each other is a guarantee that your relationship will last. Loving someone is different from being in love with someone. Being madly in love is what will save the relationship. Don't let a day pass without telling your man how much he means to you. Do simple things like cuddle while you watch your favorite sitcom. Surprise him on a Friday night with his favorite pizza. Reassure him that you are his biggest fan and you want nothing more but to be with him forever.

4.) Don't let yourself go. Just because you've been with a guy forever doesn't mean that you can dress up sloppily. Remember why he got attracted to you? You shouldn't stop being your gorgeous self just because you have somebody now. Whether you admit it or not, this is an important part of how to get a man and keep him interested. If you want him to look at you the same way he did when he met you then do your part. Keeping the spark means being that woman he desires.

5.) Keep up with his hobbies and interests. If he likes playing video games then play with him. It's so much fun when you get to do stuff like this with your man, trust me! He's going to love you for it too. If he works out a lot then get off the couch and join him. This does not mean that you devote all your time to him but it wouldn't hurt to get hooked on the things he enjoys doing.

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Relationship Rules That Will Make Someone Love You

It is easy to fall in love, but life after the declaration is the hardest part. Once you know that he is interested in you, and seems to indicate that he loves you, the next step is to continue to maintain the flame and "keep the love burning." In order to do that, you need rules. Rules place boundaries and help maintain freedom. In the same way that piano practice twelve hours a week allows a child to find the time when his or her schedule permits, the relationship rules that will make someone love you allow you more freedom in your relationship than you ever knew.

One of the relationship rules that will make someone love you is communication. You need to agree to keep talking to one another, even through the crazy days when you want to run away and hide from the rest of the world. When you are frustrated and need to vent, talk to your man. Let him know that you just need a listening ear and a crying shoulder for the hardest days. He will understand your need to vent because it is likely that he will need to vent to you as well. When the two of you have a disagreement or say harsh words, come together to reconcile things and end them on a good note. How you handle the stress and disagreements will help him see you as a valuable partner in marriage. No person in love wants to fight, argue, and slam doors all the time with the one they love.

Another of the relationship rules that will make someone love you is trust. Trust is the foundation by which a relationship is built and grows over time. If you are suspicious of his love for you and his fidelity to you, then either you are overly suspicious (which you may or may not need to be), or he has his eye on other goals in life and you are not one of them. One way to sort through these two options is to see if he is comfortable being with you alone. If he is more comfortable being with you at the movies or a company banquet than he is with you alone, he is not interested in anything more than a casual dating relationship. Do not continue to dream of marriage with him.

The last of the relationship rules that will make someone love you is respect. Respect is what happens when you allow the other person to be who he is. Do not consume time in the relationship with trying to change him; if he does not like business suits, a brief case, and a tie, do not force him to dress like a businessman. If he is a jeans and t-shirt guy, you should allow him to wear what makes him comfortable. If he is a business suit kind of guy, do not force him to "dress down" for your sake.

Additionally, grant each other time apart. Plan your times together, and make them productive; yet, allow him to go be a part of the lives of his relatives and friends. Think of it like this: he will have commitments outside of you when he marries, so why not let him maintain those commitments now? He needs to be a well-rounded person, and being with you all the time will not improve his image.